Good day, Tatyana!
So far, your condition means that you are experiencing uncertainty and anxiety in certain situations. And the reason for this needs to be found out. Try answering these questions:
1. When did you have such feelings and fears?
2. WHAT EXACTLY are you afraid? After all, the mere fact that they are looking at you does not pose any threat. What are you afraid of? That someone will think negatively about you? That you will do something wrong or look wrong? Anything else?
3. “In my mind I seem to understand that no one cares about me, but I can’t do anything” - firstly, in fact, someone may care about you. Someone may pay attention to you, and someone may think negatively about you. But why does this bother you so much? Have you convinced yourself (or someone has convinced you and you have agreed with it) that you should NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, allow anyone to think negatively about you? Is it possible to achieve this? And isn’t your anxiety, your fear related to the fact that you set yourself an impossible task? In this case, convincing yourself that “no one cares about you” will not help, because you know that this is not always the case. Secondly, awareness in itself does not help, because in such cases we're talking about about a habit that has been fixed for quite a long time - the habit of thinking, feeling and acting in a certain way. And it is important not only to realize, but also to detrain old habits and train new ones. And this does not happen instantly - it takes time and active effort. And then “thirdly” appears. You write that “I can’t do anything,” but is that true? How do you know in advance whether you can or not? Moreover, you write above: “I don’t even like to go outside because of this.” Perhaps “I don’t like”, “I don’t want” is a more correct definition in in this case, than “I can’t”? Perhaps convincing yourself that “I can’t do anything” also plays a role in perpetuating your problem?
3. “I also have some kind of constant anxiety, a feeling of fear...” - anxiety and a feeling of fear are two different things. Worry, anxiety can be vague, but fear is the fear of something specific. Try to determine what it is, and if fear, then what exactly are you afraid of. You write that this feeling is constantly present, but is it true? Are there situations in which this feeling weakens? In what situations does it increase? Does this depend on the presence/absence of other people nearby, your location, time of day, etc.?
Think about it, look for answers to these questions. Then I recommend that you choose an expert that suits you (read the expert profiles) and contact him for advice.
What do you do when you feel like everyone is looking at you like you’re a fool? That everyone is laughing at you. They look at you like you're a leper. I'm no different from ordinary people. Average height, average build. I am normal
If you are not a schoolgirl (or, in extreme cases, a 1st year student), then you have psychological problems since you attach such importance to the views of people around you. Urgently consult a psychotherapist to raise your self-esteem))) If you are still a teenager, there is only one piece of advice, do not lose yourself and your individuality, very little time will pass and it will seem completely insignificant to you.
You know, people sometimes look at people much more worthy than themselves as fools =) treat them with leniency and forgive them for this stupidity. This is tinsel that should not matter to you. Do what you know how to do well and what you like, look for the good in what you do. And I’m sure there are people who are interested in you (maybe you just don’t know everyone yet :))))
You don't have to be liked by everyone or many people in order to have friends.
work with your self-esteem. Looks like she was killed. listen to Ruslan Narushevich.
Firstly, you need to change your attitude towards yourself. I had this too, a couple of years ago. It also seemed to me that everyone was laughing at me, that everyone was whispering behind my back. This comes from self-doubt. As it turned out later, some girls didn’t want to communicate with me, they didn’t invite me anywhere, because, as they said, I was constantly whining that life was g.., etc. But to be honest, I wasn’t whining, I was just withdrawn into myself, and almost didn’t communicate with anyone. I always thought that if I said something wrong, everyone would laugh at me. And at some point I began to treat both myself and the world differently. I really felt how I had changed, people began to reach out to me. You just need to look at the world positively :), and most importantly - Love yourself. I just stopped thinking about bad things, all my thoughts were only good :) And I also found my hobby, and this gives me an incentive to change! Good luck to you:)
it depends on situation. Sometimes this happens when a person is not competent in a question, for example in a mathematics lesson, which means that one should be better prepared for such situations. If they are just making fun of you, you can try to treat it with humor, or ignore the situation
Within certain limits, people value you the way you value yourself.
You can only be in such a situation by becoming better. Not better than everyone else, but better than yesterday’s self) But in fact, our happiness is only in our head. Always wear your invisible crown. Moreover, you seem to be more afraid of evaluation of your appearance, but this is completely unbecoming. The way your eyes glow will determine how you look. Please note that successful and interesting people are not always beautiful, but people with regular facial features and beautiful figure If they wander sadly, growl at others or shy away from sidelong glances, they are unlikely to attract attention. So, once and for all, close the topic of other people’s opinions about you. You should not be interested in this and should not touch, much less upset. Listen only to the opinions of people you respect and value.
Each team has its own climate. You need not to draw global conclusions. In another team the climate is different. Don’t draw global conclusions, and you will save your sanity.
or maybe it just seems? or are there the wrong people around you?
and why such conclusions? No one looks at you as a “stupid”. Moreover, if you are not blonde (this is like stereotypical thinking among some), then even less so, those people are just interested in something in you, so they could you hook them, let them watch, idiots, and you do what is close to you and what you like, no one has the right to decide anything for you, otherwise you will follow the lead of these people who are discussing you
You see a question that one of the site users asked the Universe, and the answers to it.
The answers are either people very similar to you, or your complete opposites.
Our project was conceived as a way of psychological development and growth, where you can ask advice from “similar” people and learn from “very different” people what you don’t yet know or haven’t tried.
Do you want to ask the Universe about something important to you?
It seems to a person that “they are all looking at me.” People often feel that others are secretly watching them, even if this is not the case - Australian psychologists have come to this conclusion. In an ambiguous situation, the human brain sends a signal to its owner that he is being looked at, says an article summarizing a study by specialists from the University of Sydney. The article was published in scientific journal"Current Biology".
The ability to feel someone's gaze on you is a social phenomenon that people often take for granted, says Colin Clifford, a professor at the university's School of Psychology.
“This ability may seem natural, but in fact the brain has to do a lot of work to create the sensation of someone else's gaze.”
“To determine that we are being watched, we judge the direction of the other person's eyes and the position of their head,” Professor Clifford explained. The results of these “visual observations” are sent to certain areas of the brain where this information is processed.”
However, the brain does not simply passively receive information from the eyes. Research shows that when the available "data" is insufficient - e.g. poor lighting, or if the other person's eyes are hidden behind glasses - our brain makes a verdict based on what it “knows”.
During the experiment, scientists asked participants to determine whether other people were looking at them.
“We tried to make it difficult for people to see where the views of those they were rating were actually directed. In order to draw a conclusion, they had to be guided by their previous observations and experiences. It turned out that in an ambiguous situation we tend to come to the conclusion that we are being looked at.”
“So the feeling of someone else’s gaze is no longer related to “visual cues.” Our brain makes an assumption based on previous experience and compares it with what it sees at that particular moment.”
As to why it is so easy for us to believe that we are being watched, there are several versions:
First, observing from the outside can be a signal of superiority or even threat, and if you perceive something as a threat, it is always better to be on the safe side. It is safer to think that you are being stared at, even if this is not the case, than not to notice the real danger.
Secondly, the gaze may be a sign that someone wants to engage in dialogue with us, and we can “mentally prepare” for the upcoming conversation.
In addition, according to the researchers, young children like to have close eyes fixed on them - that is, it is likely that the tendency in question may be innate.
“It is important to understand whether this property is innate or acquired - and how it manifests itself in people in different psychological states"- says Professor Clifford.
“Research has shown, for example, that people with autism are least likely to say that someone is looking at them. People experiencing “social anxiety,” on the other hand, tend to be more likely to be fooled into thinking they are being watched.”
“If this behavior is learned, then we can learn how to reduce the excessive anxiety of such people - for example, by giving them the opportunity to look at many faces with different eye positions and head tilts, and then check the results of their observations,” concluded Professor Clifford.
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The fact that a person likes you can be understood not only after a direct confession, but also by the unconscious behavior of the admirer.
website collected confessions of anonymous lovers from the Internet. This is what they think reveals how most people feel. What is most curious is that people unconsciously behave this way, regardless of gender and age.
- People of the first type always try to be closer to the object of their feelings: go to places where they can cross paths, try to bump into each other as if by chance, touch at every opportunity (push a little, then, apologetically, hug, etc.).
- People of the second type, on the contrary, avoid the person they like, and when talking, they are rude, because it seems to them that the “victim” either guesses about their feelings, or now they are simply not good enough to appear in front of her. And if "object X" goes up, they will automatically go down.
So if from you in Lately someone shy away or, on the contrary, often accidentally intersects with you, know: all this is not without reason.
- A lover often looks at his object of adoration: he always seems to have missed some important detail. If this unrequited love without a chance, then there will be even more looks: it’s better this way than nothing.
However, if the gaze is intercepted, then often the lover suddenly activates a “second front”: for example, the nearest curtain requires immediate inspection, or an unfamiliar grandmother in the next room clearly longs for acquaintance.
There are also two options with conversations:
- A “fusion” of poet, philosopher and journalist suddenly awakens in a person; he speaks the most difficult and interesting topics, even if I have never thought about them in my life. Sometimes a Kaveen member joins as a bonus.
- An adequate and well-read person turns into a stupid sheep with vocabulary like a stool. If you are one of those people, try not to go overboard in trying to impress your interlocutor.
- People often talk about the person they like with others or they are trying to bring the conversation to this topic. Even if they have serious conversation with a group of colleagues, having heard out of the corner of my ear desired name, they will accidentally move to a neighboring company.
- Interesting detail: a person can even speak very, very negatively about the object of desire, supposedly proving to himself and everyone around him that he doesn’t like him at all: “Masha is kind of strange...”, “Come on, this Dima is such an idiot!”
- Or one more trick - emphasizing similarities in conversation, for example: “It seems like only Pasha and I are watching Game of Thrones.”
- When a person you like comes into view, a hero inner romance, most likely, will smile unconsciously, and when meeting you, he will involuntarily raise his eyebrows up- from an excess of emotions.
- And when everyone in the company starts laughing at someone’s joke, the lovers, without noticing it, First of all, they look at who they like.
- A person in love may suddenly become interested in the same things as the object of his feelings: suddenly begin to get involved in sports, read literature unusual for him, etc.
Oh yes, we almost forgot about the constant checks of the object’s page view counter in in social networks and an unconscious hatred of all his close friends of the opposite sex. What can you do - love!
P. S.: Of course, there are exceptional people (as everywhere else) who, no matter how hard you try, cannot be caught in such behavior.