It is difficult to remain calm in stressful situations. Especially when a person is tired and has no strength. It is important to understand that your nerves must be protected. Negative emotions accumulate. And this can lead to nervous breakdown. Therefore, a person’s task is to learn not to be nervous. You can effectively calm your nerves at home, without the use of sedatives.
Adequate sleep relieves nervous tension
How to understand when the nervous system needs rest
Everyone has had a moment in their life when they want to cover their heads with a blanket and not see anyone. Such sensations are a signal: the body needs help. This is the last stage of stress. There are three of them in total:
- Protection.
- Adaptation.
- Exhaustion.
At the first stage, the nervous system optimizes the functioning of all systems and organs, the level of adrenaline and hormones in the blood increases sharply. At the second stage, the body continues to work for wear and tear without sleep or rest. In the third stage, the nerve cells die. This reduces the body's performance.
Restoration of nerve cells - the main task, because most diseases are provoked by nervous disorders.
- Long-term stress can cause illnesses: tension headaches, brain tumors. It causes disruptions in the functioning of the cardiovascular system, thyroid gland, etc. Symptoms of nervous exhaustion:
- sleep disturbance;
- nervousness;
- loss of appetite;
- apathy;
- lethargy;
exacerbation of chronic diseases.
How to increase stress resistance
- To calm your nerves, you need to establish a daily routine:
- healthy sleep;
- proper nutrition;
drinking regime. The busy pace of life forces people to refuse a full breakfast or lunch. This leads to vitamin deficiency. The body needs vitamins for optimal cell development and repair. B vitamins are responsible for neuronal regeneration. large quantities
they are found in garlic, raw potatoes, nuts, and dairy products. Multivitamins A and E are involved in the formation of nails, skin and hair. Lack of vitamin D is a problem for both children and adults. It is involved in the development of bone tissue. With its deficiency, a syndrome develops chronic fatigue
. This vitamin is produced in the skin under the influence of ultraviolet rays. Therefore, you need to walk more in the sun. building material the body is protein. It is involved in metabolic processes and promotes the release of energy. It is especially important for people to consume protein foods during a cold or during an exacerbation of allergies. The protein is involved in the construction of cells of the nervous system. It is found in sufficient quantities in buckwheat, oatmeal, white meat, and fish.
Lack of sleep provokes the destruction of nerve cells. A sleep schedule will help calm your nerves. With a lack of sleep, a person’s performance sharply decreases and their appetite disappears. In severe cases, hallucinations begin from stress and lack of sleep.
Drink more water
Humans are 80% water. With a lack of fluid, the functioning of the kidneys and adrenal glands worsens. A person of average weight should drink 2 liters of water per day.
You should avoid drinking strong tea, coffee, and sweet carbonated drinks. When consuming caffeine, fluid is quickly removed from the body. This promotes calcium leaching.
Caffeine is persistently addictive. Each time it takes more and more to stimulate it.
It is best to drink clean water
Medications
Medicines will help you calm down. They relieve symptoms, but do not eliminate the cause. When stopping medication, a person may start to freak out again for any reason. Many drugs are addictive. It is better to take herbal based medications. They have a mild sedative effect and practically do not cause drowsiness.
For nervous breakdowns, tranquilizers and antidepressants are prescribed, but after taking them there may be a withdrawal syndrome. Therefore, you need to learn how to calm your nerves without pills.
Traditional methods
Traditional medicine will help calm your nerves quickly. They are widely used in the treatment of many diseases. People have been using the power of herbs since ancient times. Scientists have proven that medicinal plants contain vitamins and minerals that a person cannot get from regular food.
Decoctions and tinctures from:
- calendula, chamomile, hawthorn;
- mint, lemon balm;
- linden, elecampane, St. John's wort.
You can take soothing baths with herbal infusions. This effective method calm your nerves without drugs. You can add sea salt and aromatic oils to your bathing water. Soothing baths promote rapid muscle relaxation. For prolonged stress, it is recommended to take a course of baths. The break must be at least one day.
Methods for relaxation and stress relief
Every person should know what they can do to calm down and not be nervous at work or at home. No one is immune from stress. Situations arise that can unsettle anyone. It has been proven that the most powerful tool is self-hypnosis. Self-control training allows you to give the brain a command to calm down at the right moment. Not everyone can do this the first time, but simple calming exercises will help you quickly gain control of yourself.
Method with meditation
Meditation is great for calming your nerves. This is the only method that allows you to calm your thoughts and get out of depression on your own. First study all the practices, and then choose the one that suits you. They are divided into three types:
- Visualization - suitable for people who perceive information visually.
- Breathing exercises are useful for people with developed sensory skills.
- Guided practices are suitable for people who perceive information by ear.
Visualization is based on representation a certain picture, which helps to remain calm or quickly gain control of oneself in conflict situation. First, practice at home. Try to relax and calm down - imagine the sound of the sea surf. Blue sea, white sand. The waves pleasantly cool your body, wash your mind and take away all your problems.
If you need to remain calm in a conflict, try to imagine your opponent as a buzzing fly. Imagine that you are behind the glass against which this fly is beating. She buzzes and gets angry that she can't reach you.
You can calm down using breathing techniques. Perform a breathing square: inhale for 5 counts, hold your breath for 5 seconds, then exhale for 5 counts. Do the exercise for 2 minutes.
Short management practices are audio recordings with specific text. It can be of any content. The technique is used not only to calm oneself. It can invigorate and push you to achieve your goal. You can write text and ask to read it onto disk. Let a person with a pleasant voice do this.
Water calming
Water helps improve your condition during stress. Wherever you are, try to be alone, open the water tap, look at it. Place your palms under the stream and focus on the sensations. Then massage the collar area and temples with wet fingers.
Imagine that your fears and experiences flow away with the water. This is a great way to stop worrying public speaking and relieve tension after a conflict.
“Unscrew” the problems
Take a piece of cloth or towel and twist it as if you want to wring out the item after washing. All muscles should be tense. You can focus on your body if you do the exercise alone.
At the moment of the strongest tension, throw a towel on the floor, sharply relax your whole body and arms. After this exercise you will immediately feel better.
Smoking calms you down: truth or self-hypnosis
When asked what calms the nerves, many answer: cigarettes calm them down. This the right way calm nerves for smokers. People who do not smoke regularly often turn to cigarettes during nervous breakdowns. Do cigarettes calm your nerves or not?
The process of smoking resembles breathing exercises. Measured inhalations and exhalations help calm the nervous system. We can conclude that it is not necessary to smoke to calm down.
Smoking imitates the process of gymnastics
What else can you do to calm down?
Nerves can be calmed without the use of medications:
- Start working on yourself. Stop being nervous and worrying about anything. Learn to perceive the world differently.
- Try to avoid stressful situations and people who can provoke them.
- Learn to enjoy the little things and don't dwell on failures.
- Find something to do for your soul that will distract you from bad thoughts.
- Relief from stress is sport. During training, endorphin is produced - a substance that helps restore nerve cells.
Exist different ways protect yourself from stress and reduce its impact on the body. Choose the one that suits you.
When emotions run high and you need to pull yourself together, these tips will help. Use the one you like best. Or all at once.
1. List beautiful things
Are you about to explode? Will you cry or burst into righteous anger? Grab a pen and paper and write down five beautiful things you've noticed recently. Maybe you saw a white dog near your house. Or star lilies. Or sunny bunny. We are free to choose what to think about - good or bad. This activity will distract you and prevent an emotional outburst.
2. Sit still
There is a special power in non-action. Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh recommends practicing non-action. Sit in complete silence, doing nothing (or even thinking), without any purpose. Irritation and anxiety will disappear as if by hand.
3. Get weird
Occupy your brain with an unusual activity. Predict new fitness trends (like chess with hyenas or swimming through sewer pipes), or create or draw music.
4. Smile
Even if it seems to you that it is completely inappropriate now. Emotions, facial muscles and the brain are connected. By stretching your lips into a smile, albeit an unnatural one, you give your brain a signal: “I’m happy!” And he has no choice but to adapt.
5. Be proud of yourself
Try to clearly imagine that you did well for coping with your emotions, and how proud you will be of yourself tomorrow (and, most likely, in a couple of hours).
6. Observe mindfully
15. Incorporate an anti-stress ritual
The only limitation is that you need to prepare for this “action”. Brett Blumenthal advises creating daily anti-stress rituals. They provide an opportunity to calm down and increase happiness. Perform your personal ritual: you can take a contrast shower, light an aromatic candle (even at work - there’s nothing wrong with that), read a couple of pages of a book, drink a cup of chamomile tea.
We become what we continually do. This is why it is so important to be able to cope with stress, anxiety and emotional overload. If we let them take over every time, then what will we become?
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There are difficult situations, when the need arises to calm yourself, let's find out how best to do it.
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I can’t calm down: what should I do?
You are at in a strong stressful situation , you feel nervous, nervous, and find it difficult to sit still.
Possibly in the area solar plexus Unpleasant sensations appeared and the heart rate increased.
These are all signs that you are in state of nervous tension.
If you are very worried, then try not to scroll through your thoughts about a negative plot and a bad scenario for the development of the situation.
You worry, start thinking about bad things, and eventually stress and anxiety increase even more.
Therefore, first of all, it should be those that provoke negative emotions.
How to learn to calm yourself?
To learn how to quickly calm yourself down, you should master self-control skills. If you have a strong nervous system, you are excellent at maintaining self-control in the most difficult situations. different situations, then it’s easier to calm down.
However, residents of megacities are exposed to a huge number of stress factors every day. Eventually the nervous system is becoming increasingly unstable, and each time it becomes more and more difficult to calm down.
Methods of coping with your nervous system:
Methods without drugs
When we are nervous, we try to resort to sedatives. The problem is that they can have the opposite effect.
Before entering the office, take a few deep and slow breaths. Don't take too strong sedatives, otherwise there is a risk of appearing inhibited, and mental activity will become slow.
Set yourself up to the fact that even if you don't get accepted for this job, it's not the end, there are many other options. Imagine that this is a game where you try your hand.
How to fall asleep?
How to calm down before bed?
For residents major cities The problem of insomnia is more than relevant. Everyone has at least once experienced the inability to fall asleep.
How to force yourself to sleep? There are several rules and recommendations:
- do not watch TV, scary and dramatic films filled with emotions before going to bed;
- minimize communication on social networks if they cause you stress and irritation;
- drink warm milk with honey, if there are no contraindications to these products;
- Don't eat too much before bed. If you have an appetite, it is better to drink a glass of kefir;
- master meditation;
- a walk before bed will help you fall asleep;
- stick to a daily routine, train yourself to go to bed and get up at the same time;
- severe overwork contributes to bad sleep, adjust your schedule and workload.
If insomnia causes constant discomfort, consult a doctor.
Don't worry before giving birth
- a natural phenomenon.
Almost every woman goes through the process of having a child. Now technologies are on high level , doctors monitor any changes in the mother’s condition, so the risks are minimal.
Childbirth - natural process. Talk to your doctor if you have any concerns. Psychologists work in maternity hospitals; you can make an appointment with them for a consultation. Do not watch birth videos if it causes you stress or negative feelings.
Good results provides attendance at special classes for pregnant women, where the consultant will tell you how childbirth goes, teach you how to breathe correctly and how to behave during and after it.
Before flying on an airplane
At first glance, it seems that going up into the sky is very scary. However, if you pay attention to the statistics, you will see that airplane is one of the safest modes of transport.
On regular highways disasters happen every day, but planes successfully fly to their destination. We are scared because airplane accidents are publicized in the media and they are usually major ones.
We are used to car accidents and consider it a natural accompaniment. modern life. Don't look out the window if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Turn on pleasant and relaxing music, remember breathing practices.
Before surgery
Doctors and psychologists have long noticed that the success of an operation is largely influenced by the patient’s mood.
Stop overthinking and thinking about bad things. If you have any concerns, discuss them with your doctor.
Don't discuss surgery with people who do not have the relevant knowledge.
Before the big day try to avoid additional stress, don't watch dramatic movies, don't listen to people who can make you feel negative. Tell yourself that everything will go great.
After a quarrel
How to calm down after a quarrel with your husband? Relationships within the family often become the cause of stress and increased nervousness. Quarrel with a loved one unsettles you for a long time. What to do:
- Try not to get personal during a showdown, even if your partner tries to do so;
- maintain composure;
- end the conflict first;
- resentment - no The best way calm yourself down, try not to develop this feeling in yourself;
- every person has the right to own opinion, That's why the best option— search for a compromise;
- think about what is more important to you - the subject of the dispute or maintaining relationships with your family;
- drink a glass of water or mint tea;
- A bath with aromatic oils or sea salt will help you relax and relieve stress.
If it continues, go outside and breathe. fresh air, take a walk around the house - physical activity will help reduce stress and calm you down.
In case of trouble at work
If you are in trouble at work, think about you can always find another job. Hold on to a position that is the reason constant stress, not worth it.
Work is part of our life, but she's not that important to worry a lot about her.
How to extinguish anger in yourself if everything infuriates you?
If everything infuriates and irritates, we need to find out why this happens. Often the cause is a problem with the thyroid gland - in this case, the doctor will recommend appropriate treatment.
If you are being monitored, go to a psychologist, he will conduct an initial consultation and give recommendations.
Irritated nervous system doesn't happen without a reason. Often our Bad mood indicates problems within the body, so a trip to a therapist and a full examination would be a good idea.
Pay attention to the following tips:
- Learn to perceive the world more calmly. What irritates you? Noisy neighbors, crowds in transport, foolish people? Many little things are not worth our attention, just try to ignore them. Crowds in public transport are annoying - walk, buy a car or order a taxi. If you don’t like the area you live in, it’s a great reason to move. If your job is annoying - and what keeps you at it - find another one, the reason that it is difficult is just an excuse.
- Find yourself a hobby which will give you pleasure.
- Play sports, move more, activity allows you to get rid of negative emotions.
- Diversify your life, don’t limit yourself to home and work - meet friends, go to the cinema, go to another city for the weekend - your body and psyche need a shake-up and a change of scenery.
Much of the reason for our nervousness is imbalance of the nervous system. Change your lifestyle, have a simpler attitude towards situations and people around you, and then there will be much less reason to worry.
How to calm down? Methods:
What do you do in a stressful situation? You probably don’t pull yourself together, but are nervous, stressing yourself and those around you even more. Of course, this is fundamentally wrong and destructive. But how to calm down and stop being nervous when everything has already enraged you or thrown you out of balance? There are several effective ways.
Water
In order to come to your senses, sometimes drinking water is enough. This will trigger the body’s self-rehabilitation mechanism and simply allow you to come to your senses. By the way, hysterics often occur due to unnoticed dehydration. How this is interconnected would take a long time to tell. It's easier to drink water. By the way, it is often recommended to drink warm water with a tablespoon of sugar per glass.
You don’t have to drink it, but just go wash the dishes. This is generally a free anti-stress therapy session: the water is bubbling, you are working with your hands. A shower or bath is also suitable.
Air
Yes, you can just breathe. But not just once, but several times in a row. Deep. And exhale slowly.
Move
This is also a well-known method that allows you to quickly calm down and begin to act. But physical release should be rapid. Suitable for this:
- Sex;
- Dance;
- Work in the garden;
- Walk;
- Swim;
- Cleaning;
- Laundry or mopping. You can also use dishes, as mentioned above.
Laughter
If something is difficult to perceive, it needs to be ridiculed, vulgarized, and its value reduced with the help of humor. Remember the books about Harry Potter and the “ridiculus” spell, as well as replacing a scary picture with a funny one. Laughter will remove any stress.
Look favorite comedy series or read jokes.
Tears
They also relax, and in addition, they remove all toxins from the body that arise due to the work of stress hormones. If you can’t cry over the situation, then remember something sad.
Check
To ten. Inhaling and exhaling. It's almost a meditative practice.
Think about how things could be worse
The second option for changing attitudes is positive reframing, that is, turning the disadvantages of the situation into advantages. These methods are suitable for very developed people.
Verbalization
During times of stress, it is quite possible to write about everything that worries you or just talk it out, choosing the most suitable words and speaking them clearly. But it’s better to write a letter, preferably a long one, and not send it anywhere.
Just get away from an annoying situation
If you've been pissed off at a party, by your family, or even by your co-workers, the best thing to do is just get up and leave as quickly as possible. At the same time, take a walk, and this is movement.
You should not be in an environment that irritates you.
It’s much easier to do this on the Internet: simply delete the correspondence or leave the group in contact. But you have the right to do this in live communication, even if they look at you askance: you have the same psyche.
By the way, an irritating situation is also called the emotional zone.
Do the most exciting thing
Everyone has their own interests, but the most important thing is that you yourself are passionate about the business. Let it be stupid computer game, a stretching lesson, knitting a hat, reading a detective story... The main thing is that you immerse yourself in a pleasant activity.
Just get distracted by something minor
If you're so angry at your boss at a meeting that you're about to explode, admire your colleague's manicure or the flowers on the windowsill. At the same time, remember that you didn’t water yours...
Beat all the pots
Literally. Always keep old, unnecessary and cracked dishes almost at hand at home (for example, on the top shelves) that you would hate to throw away. There is no need to throw it away, just at the moment of boiling, we take it and slam the vessel on the floor. The main thing is that she is old and that you don’t feel sorry for her.
Stress has become one of the components of our lives. We are afraid of the boss, angry with our neighbors, and argue with sellers. Constant nervous tension is depressing. A person sees only gray colors, and he develops health problems. How to calm down and not be nervous, you ask? Below I will give a list simple ways combat stress.
How to stay calm before an important event?
So, in a week, an important event should happen in your life. This could be an interview or a presentation of your work. How you perform will determine your further career. What to do if everything is falling out of your hands, you can’t sleep at night and are constantly worried? The answer is simple: you are unlikely to take the position you dream of.
If you still want to succeed, stop being afraid. You must understand that you yourself can destroy your dream. Don't be dramatic. Do breathing exercises. During the exercise, thoughts should only be about breathing. Inhale through the nose, exhale through the mouth.
Take a walk before bed. While walking, also try not to think about the upcoming meeting. Turn on your favorite music and enjoy.
Night sleep should be at least 7 hours. Don't eat at night.
To keep your body in excellent shape, you can take multivitamin complexes. They will help boost your immunity and strengthen your nervous system.
How to behave during an important event?
So, the long-awaited hour has come. Your future will soon be decided. You must remember that worries are unnecessary. Start your morning with a contrast shower, exercise and a delicious breakfast. All these procedures will lift your spirits and put you in a positive mood.
Set several alarms in the evening so you don't oversleep. Leave the house early: it’s better to wait for the start than to be late for it.
When entering the office, feel confident. People around you will notice this and will treat you completely differently. The back should be straight, the voice should be well-produced. Watch your gestures, facial expressions and intonation. Don't wave your arms too much, laugh for no reason, or raise your voice. Speak calmly and be calm.
Be sure to bring water with you. You may need it during your performance. Feel free to pause your performance for a few seconds and take a sip of water. This will help calm the nervous system and refresh you.
Don't rush to answer the question quickly. Scroll it over in your head again, and then give an accurate and clear answer.
More than half of our fears come from nowhere. That is, we invented them ourselves, believed in them and began to be afraid. According to statistics, women have more such fears. They invent various fables for themselves and willingly believe in them. Take life more simply and remember that everything depends only on us!
Inga, St. Petersburg
Psychologist's comment:
The worldview of a psychologist is quite different from that of the average person. Psychologists are taught not only to hear the content, but also to feel the unconscious process.
This is a very useful skill, it helps you perceive the world much more broadly and not get into trouble. Now I will try to explain with examples.
Example No. 1.
If a guy asks a girl to the movies, then 90% of the time that's not all he has in mind. And if we honestly voiced the invisible unconscious process, the phrase would sound something like this:
– Shall we go to the cinema and then have sex?
(The top phrase is what is said in words, and the phrase below the line is the subtext, true meaning this phrase)
Let's go to the cinema?
———————————————————————————
I like you! Shall we go to the movies and then have sex?
It’s bad if the girl is not trained to perceive this process, because if she goes to the movies, then most likely the couple will break up, dissatisfied with each other and the evening spent. 90% of girls understand perfectly well that when they agree to “go to the cinema”, they agree not only to watch a film, but give hope for further development relationships.
And they don’t go to the movies with someone with whom they don’t intend to deepen communication. Or they stipulate in advance that it will be “only a movie.”
Let's go to!
———————————————————————————
I like you too. First, let's go to the cinema, and then we'll watch.
Example No. 2.
When a gopnik on the street says: “Listen, kid, come here, we need to talk,” he doesn’t need to talk, but to take the kid’s money. If a guy really believes that his name is just to “talk,” he turns out to be unprepared for the realities of life and will be dissatisfied with what happens next. It's good and right to teach guys that "talk" means something completely different in some situations.
I wanna talk to you
———————————————————————————
I want to take your money
I brought the most simple examples. They are obvious to an adult, but not to a teenager. As we grow older, we gain experience, and processes that we did not recognize in our youth seem obvious to us in adulthood. And then we say to ourselves: how much I didn’t understand before!
Our life is permeated with processes that we do not voice. Psychologists say that we convey 7% of information in words, and the rest is that we do not voice it. Let's take a look at this article from a psychologist's point of view and see what new insights emerge.
In this article, feelings of fear and irritation are perceived as something harmful and disturbing. There is no doubt that these feelings are very unpleasant and even painful. But my deep conviction is that their pain comes from the fact that we do not know how to handle them. We simply do not know how to deal with our fear and irritability.
Psychologists do not perceive feelings as enemies: we believe that any feeling is necessary and necessary because it has a useful purpose. Useful - for us.
Fear and anxiety
The useful purpose of fear and anxiety is to warn of danger. Fear is necessary for us to recognize the danger and take action. He will be with us until the danger passes or until we learn to take measures to prevent this danger.
Fear pushes us forward, forces us to react rather than sit idly by. And in this sense it is very useful. Our task is to consult with him, not to get rid of him.
Another thing is that fear should not paralyze us, it should not control us, as in the example:
In a week, an important event should happen in your life. This could be an interview or a presentation of your work. Your future career will depend on how you perform. What to do if everything is falling out of your hands, you can’t sleep at night and are constantly worried? The answer is simple - you are unlikely to take the position you dream of. If you still want to succeed, stop being afraid. You must understand that you yourself can destroy your dream.
In this situation, advising someone to stop being afraid is the same as advising a mouse to become a hedgehog so that the fox does not eat it. Unfortunately, such advice does not work because it is unenforceable. We cannot stop feeling like this. Such recommendations were brilliantly played out in the popular video “Stopit!” (“Stop it!”):
I repeat, fear will be with a person until he realizes what the danger is and takes action.
Taking this example, how can action be taken? First you need to understand that part of anxiety (healthy part = rational fear) is caused by important event in a week, and most of(irrational fear = neurotic fear) – the result of some internal process and does not apply to the present time.
For example, this person has been afraid of disappointing his mother since childhood, or he was punished for failing at school. That is, 99% of fear before an interview relates to childhood, to an invisible process inside, and not to the interview at all. Childhood has passed, but fear remains, and by inertia affects a person’s life:
I'm afraid of an interview
———————————————————————————
I'm afraid to disappoint my mother
And such a person will not be able to “stop being afraid,” no matter how much he is convinced. He understands everything, but he cannot, because the fear of his mother (father, teacher) is still in his head. If people could do this, the psychologist would say in consultation:
- Stop that! Stop being afraid immediately! Don't you understand that your career depends on this interview!? Get ready immediately and get some sleep!
Thank God psychologists don’t work like that.))
There are several hundred areas in psychology. And they have different ways of working with fears. However, most of them have one thing in common: they work not only with content, but also with unconscious process.
One option is for a psychologist to help the client become aware of this process and take action – there, in the unconscious. Then half of the fears that the client has in life dissolve on their own.
Irritation and anger
Irritation and anger signal us about obstacles. And they will be with us until the obstacle is overcome, until it prevents us from achieving our goals.
Let's take this advice:
Write a letter. When a lot of problems piled up, my nerves were on edge. Take a pen and a piece of paper. Write down everything that you don’t like and that makes you uncomfortable. After this, the letter can be torn into small pieces or simply burned. Looking at the flame, believe that all problems are burned away, like this sheet of paper.
If you've ever tried to use it, you know that problems don't go away. Only the person himself flies away - we are distracted, and for some time we can disconnect from problems. And when we return, all the problems pile up again. This means that irritation appears again.
The psychologist notices not only the stated problem - irritation, but also an unconscious process (which is easy to recognize) - “I can’t cope.”
I'm annoyed that problems have accumulated
———————————————————————————
I accumulate problems and do not know how to solve them in time
For a psychologist, the essence of the problem will not be to remove irritation, but to understand what the client is doing to cause problems to accumulate? The psychologist will perceive irritation as a signal, a symptom, and the reason lies a little deeper. The psychologist will perceive the client’s request to “remove irritation” in the same way as a dentist – the patient’s request to relieve a toothache.
The dentist, of course, will relieve the pain, but not through painkillers, but by removing the pathological process. Likewise, a psychologist, of course, will help with irritability, but not by making anger and problems burn out in the flame of a candle, but by helping to remove the cause of irritability.
- Let's make a plan to solve your problems and see how quickly you can solve them.
- Let's see which problem is most annoying and how to solve it as quickly as possible.
- Let's figure out how you accumulate problems and what prevents you from solving them on time.
Study how you are made!
Just as in the story with the dentist the patient cannot fill his own tooth, so in the story with the psychologist the client usually cannot figure out the causes of irritability on his own. Indeed, we know more about how to fill a tooth than about where feelings come from.
The average person spends more time learning how to use a computer than learning to use their own head. Therefore, ideas about the work of the psyche in our society are very naive. This means that the decisions made about how to deal with problems are also very naive.
The psychological worldview is a fascinating and very useful thing. This approach allows you to see the problem deeper - in its entirety. Don't be fooled by the size of the tip of the iceberg, but feel what's really happening. Then our decisions become deep and wise, even if they concern such simple things as fears and irritability.
Alexander Musikhin, consulting psychologist, psychotherapist, trainer, writer