Now let's move on to the more practical side - communication...
Have you often encountered a problem when your friend or loved one depression, but you don’t know what to tell him and how to help him overcome this condition? It is very difficult to find the right words in such a situation, because a person may react incorrectly and even inadequately. Below are the most effective words that will help you support a loved one in difficult times.
Phrases that make it clear that you care about a person:
What can I do for you?
All written sources describing this problem advise SHOWING, not TELLING. Words are not all that is helpful to a person struggling with depression.
So, what I find most comforting at a time when it is impossible to gather my thoughts is a friend coming over and preparing lunch for me, or someone offering to tidy up my place. Believe me, practical care is a great support for a person facing grief or suffering from depression. Why not go and check on a person who has completely lost his mood?
Actions are very effective when, when communicating, you express compassion to the interlocutor in a practical way. Even if he is too humble to accept such help, I can assure you that he will place your words in that secret corner of his soul that will remind him: “This person cares about me.”
Maybe there is something that could help you feel better?
Talk to the person about something that once brought them joy, or about something new that could bring them joy. Perhaps he himself will not have an answer to this question, or perhaps he will remember something that could cheer him up now, but he is not able to implement it. Then you can give him this support and help him do something that will lift his spirits.
Brew him tea, be close, don’t say unnecessary words, encourage him to have a confidential conversation.
Do you want me to accompany you?
Maybe a person has been used to being alone for a long time and has not even thought about the fact that someone might be nearby when he needs to go shopping or get to some place. Moreover, no one accompanied him home. You can offer such support, it will show that you really care about the person and do not want to leave him alone with his thoughts.
Such actions will say more than just the words “I’m nearby”, “I’m with you”, “You can count on me”, because you are really nearby and you can really be counted on!
Do you find support in anyone?
These words say: “You need support. Let's find a way to get it."
This question will help you understand whether a person is surrounded by support from loved ones or whether he is left to his own devices. If you know that someone is trying to support him, but he himself does not talk about it or does not notice the support as such, then this will help you understand what is important to the person, what helps him and what does not.
The more loved ones show such care, the better for a person. If you know that he feels alone in his trouble and does not receive the support of loved ones, talk to them. Let them know how important it is that they get involved and be there for you during this difficult time.
You should also not forget that you can seek help from specialists if the person himself does not mind. I think this is not the first method of help, but if you yourself cannot help a person, it is better to entrust this to professionals. Again, only with the consent of the person. He needs to be helped to understand that depression is a serious and dangerous disease, but it is completely correctable, especially if the person himself understands this and is ready to fight.
This will definitely end and you will feel the same as before.
These words do not judge, do not impose anything, and do not manipulate. They simply give hope, and that HOPE will keep a person alive, or at least motivate him to live until the next day to see if there really is a light at the end of the tunnel.
This is not a simple and seemingly indifferent “This will pass”, “It happens and not so.” Such words show that you really care about what is happening in a person’s life, wish him and you sincerely believe that this will soon pass.
Make it clear that this is just a disease, a treatable condition, after which there is happy life. Everything will not end with such experiences and emotions.
What do you think about most?
This question will help determine the possible cause of depression, what causes the most concern and occupies a person’s thoughts. You explore everything possible reasons, but don’t stop at just one. When a person draws his own conclusions through such a conversation, he will take responsibility for what can be changed.
Perhaps your loved one now really needs a person who knows how to listen and encourage conversation with the right questions. Be gentle during this time and prepare to listen more than you talk, and right time even be silent.
What time of day is the most difficult for you?
Try to find out when your loved one’s depressing thoughts are most disturbing and be as close as possible at this time. Don't leave him alone. Even when he doesn’t want to talk, believe me, over time this presence of yours will bring extraordinary fruits and healing.
Calling at the right time, the willingness of the other to wait until the time when he wants to talk about the problem, simply being present is very valuable! If you are nearby, hug the person, make tea, sit next to them and just be ready to help with all your being. In the most difficult times, you are there. And most importantly, they are constant.
I'm here to help you.
This is what you can say to confirm all the actions that you are already doing for a person. There is no need to throw around such words if this is not the case. But if it is true, backed up by deeds, it gives strength. It's simple. It is necessary. And in these words there is everything you need to say: I care, although I cannot fully understand everything, but I love and support you.
Silence.
This is the most inconvenient because we always want to fill the silence with something, even if it's talking about the weather. But saying nothing... and just listening... sometimes is the best and most appropriate thing to do in this case answer.
Be sensitive and attentive. Don't chat in vain. Be closer to a person’s heart, it can understand without words.
How can you be ready to provide such support?
Supporting someone during a difficult time is not easy for the person providing the support. Firstly, because you may not know exactly how to help a person. Secondly, because you are simply worried about him, and yes, you also hurt somewhere inside from his pain!
In advance, stock up on patience and love, be prepared to wait as long as necessary. You won't always understand everything. This is not required of you. But if you are there and support and express your care in every possible way, you can do it.
But this requires a certain dedication. We are not always ready to invest so much in someone. To do this you need to really love.
Help a person find meaning in life. If you yourself are confused about this issue, we can talk about it with you. After all, there is nothing more important than condition human soul and the contribution we can make to the relationship.
How to calm a crying person? Sometimes this question arises for many people. More and more often we can see how our loved ones get upset and cry. There can be a million reasons for tears, from a touching film to dismissal from work.
Offer help
Your initial task is not to understand the reason, but to help comfort your friend, mother, wife, in one word, your loved one. Of course if not we're talking about, for example, about a favorite TV series that is about to end. In this case, everything will soon return to normal without your intervention.
If the reason is more complex and you just can't stay away, then what should you do? Initially, show attention and care. Provide mediocre help and encouragement.
Find out through leading question what happened, then you can correctly assess the situation. Donate your time and let the person talk, of course, if he wants to.
This is a very important point, we can say that your actions begin with it. This can be done as follows:
- Stay. You can't always console someone by talking; sometimes it's more important to just be there. It often happens that at the peak moment words do not work. In this case, your presence is much more effective. Be patient.
- Offer water. As a rule, drinking half a glass of cool water will make you feel relieved, it will help quench your thirst and catch your breath. Agree that it works.
- Offer a handkerchief or recommend washing with cool water. Here you yourself must navigate the situation. It’s stupid to ask a friend with painted eyelashes to wash her face; as a result, she may misunderstand your intentions. You may decide that you are demanding that you stop crying immediately.
To behave correctly, carefully observe the reaction to your words.
How to calm a crying person: provide support
How often do we support our friends, and how correctly do you think you do it?
Let's figure it all out:
- Allow the person to vent their emotions.
It is pointless to ask, especially a woman, to stop crying, no matter what the reason behind it. It is much more important, on the contrary, to allow you to cry out all the negative emotions, all the pain, regret, and anxiety. Don't hold back, otherwise it may lead to negative consequences such as depression.
Try to avoid statements such as “Stop it” or “Don't cry, it's not worth it!” The person gave free rein to his feelings, which means that at least for him it is important, do not disturb him.
- Find out how you can help.
It is possible that you may be asked to leave or asked to stay. In any case, ask a question - is there anything I can help you with now? And regardless of what they answer, make any decision respectfully.
If you are asked to leave, it will be enough to say whatever you say, but if I can help you with anything, let me know about it. Don't be offended under any circumstances. Sometimes you just need to be alone.
- Take your time.
Don't rush to take any action. Sometimes it just shouldn't be done. You are nearby, your presence is already beneficial, and if additional help is needed, I assure you, you will be informed about it.
- Hugs.
Remember how nice it is when your mother hugs you. How necessary it is when something worries us. If your girlfriend or boyfriend loves to hug, don't skimp on this gesture.
If in front of you is an unfamiliar person or someone who avoids physical contact, just ask directly - will you mind if I hug you?
Often, unlike friends, strangers do not strive for such actions, so you need to ask about it.
Discuss experiences
And here there are several very important, but often rarely used algorithms. By using a couple of them you will by example see how effectively they work:
- Don't be forced to speak out.
IN modern world Most people cannot share their experiences and problems with strangers. In this case, you should not insist.
Don't feel like you have to constantly say something, just stay and make it clear that you can be relied upon. Don't judge, it will only make things worse. The situation with your girlfriend or husband changes radically.
This is your close circle, your relationship with them is different and this is normal. In this case, it is easier for you to navigate based on personal qualities person.
- You are ready to listen.
If your answer is yes, then throughout the conversation give your full attention, try to maintain eye contact, do not express your judgments, your dissatisfaction with the situation, they are not always correct. Be tactful and polite.
- Don't turn your attention to yourself.
It is a misconception that words - I also recently experienced a similar situation - will somehow help you become closer to a person. This is far from true. With this phrase you focus attention on yourself, and it will not always work in your favor.
Events should develop around someone who now needs comfort. By turning attention to yourself, you can incorrectly make it clear to your interlocutor that his problems are nothing compared to yours.
- Don't look for a solution to the problem.
This is not your task. It is much more important to talk less and listen more, this way you will console much faster and will not break anything in the heat of the moment. You understand that you should not draw hasty conclusions and make hasty decisions.
- Psychotherapist or psychologist.
In some situations this is the solution. The only question is how to say this without hurting a person’s feelings. In this situation, you can only talk about specialist help with close people, and not with the victim. This must be done in a moment of complete despair.
If a person cannot cope with his problems on his own, you can correctly advise him to seek help from a specialist.
To do this, you can ask a leading question - is it really not easy for you? Maybe you can try seeing a psychotherapist.
Summarizing how to calm a crying person, remember that support is required from you. It can often be quite awkward to be around, but try not to think about yourself at this moment. Very soon the person will calm down and will definitely thank you for the care and attention you provided.
Instructions
Talk to a nervous person, distract him from the causes of stress. For example, if he is afraid of an upcoming speech in front of an audience, talk about rare butterflies, rules for decorating bouquets, interesting facts about cats, etc. Switch your attention person to another, more pleasant subject. This way he can calm down faster.
Talk about something funny, get involved person into a cheerful conversation or exchange of witticisms and jokes. Give a couple of funny incidents from life. Try to achieve a smile, even if it is weak. When a person smiles, or even more so laughs, fear and excitement fade into the background and gradually weaken.
Convince the Nervous person take a little walk with you. Don't force him to sit still: as a rule, stress causes a surge of adrenaline, and the person feels a strong need to move. It is best to organize a short walk in a quiet, peaceful place, preferably in the fresh air. The less irritants there are around, the better.
Play soft soothing music. If possible, convince the anxious person dance with you a little. Fast, energetic dancing will be inappropriate in this case. Preference should be given slow dancing, smooth, calm movements.
Offer a nervous person a sedative. Do not get carried away with pills; it is better to prepare a decoction of medicinal herbs. Tea with chamomile or a decoction of coriander fruits are excellent. You can also offer warm milk with honey: not everyone likes this drink, but it helps to calm down and relieve nervous tension.
Prepare a decoction using a herbal mixture purchased at the pharmacy for depression and nervous disorders. This remedy is usually quite safe and helps to quickly calm down. You should first check to see if you have person for which the decoction is intended, allergies to its components.
Everyone has had to go through difficult situations, but it is much harder not to worry own misfortune, but to see a friend suffering. To avoid feeling powerless in your friend's grief, be prepared to provide him with a little psychological support.
Instructions
Offer your help if you can provide it. But don’t insist if he refuses support.
Take the person for a walk. Don't leave him alone.
Video on the topic
If you decide to listen to your friend, don’t rush him, let him finish. It’s better not to help at all than to make the situation worse.
A visit to the vet is a stressful situation for any cat, which means you may feel stressed too.
If she does, leaving the house to go to the vet may make her agitated. If you do this beforehand, the trip to the clinic will seem more enjoyable for both you and your pet. Your veterinarian may prescribe a sedative that is needed before your appointment.
- Wrap the cat in a towel so that only the head is exposed. If possible, have someone hold the cat while you wrap it. This will help immobilize the cat so that it will not run away.
- Place your index finger at the corner of the mouth. Pull it up and press lightly with your fingers until the cat opens its mouth slightly.
- By using index finger With your other hand, open the cat's mouth wider by pressing on the lower jaw near the tongue.
- Insert or syringe the liquid onto the back of your tongue. Close the cat's mouth with the hand you used to hold its lower jaw and massage its throat until it swallows the medicine.
- Give your cat a treat to counteract the unpleasant taste of the sedative. Place her in her carrier and let her rest before leaving the house for her appointment.
Delirium delirium, popularly known as “delirium tremens,” is a dangerous mental illness to which people who are addicted to alcohol are prone. Patients in the acute stage can harm not only themselves, but also those around them.
“White tremens”: reasons
It is believed that fever or delirium tremens occurs very rarely and only in severe cases of alcoholism. However, in reality this phenomenon mental disorder, which every person coming out of .
Alcoholic delirium (“delirium tremens”) is a serious mental illness that necessarily requires hospital treatment.
Usually the disease manifests itself a few days after leaving the binge, and in a severe stage of the disease it can occur before binge drinking. This happens due to the fact that the liver, pancreas and stomach are accustomed to releasing into the body a certain amount of enzymes that are required to digest alcohol. If a person abruptly stops drinking alcohol, especially after a long binge, and the body does not stop releasing enzymes, poisoning with these same enzymes occurs - this leads to delirium tremens. Typically, a patient with delirium is calm during the day, but severe exacerbations occur.
Signs
Trembling hands and feet bad dream, nightmares, sudden changes in mood during the day, sudden aversion to alcohol, vomiting - these are just some of the signs of “delirium tremens”. A person with such a disease cannot sit in one place, he is very restless, after waking up from sleep, he may have terrible hallucinations that he perceives as reality, and he may also hear sounds that are not really there.
Treatment
Treatment is carried out in specialized clinics and in intensive care wards. Typically, patients with delirium tremens are treated with diuretics that support the liver; if required, they are given cardiac and sedatives. Recovery occurs in 3-8 days, it is different for everyone. Such patients cannot be treated. Delaying hospitalization is dangerous not only for themselves, but also for society.
First aid for delirium tremens
If a person prone to binge drinking behaves inappropriately (suspiciousness, hallucinations, aggressiveness, motor restlessness), you should immediately call drug treatment or psychiatric emergency help.
The right way To avoid “delirium tremens” - stop drinking. If this cannot be done, narcologists advise not to abruptly leave the state of binge drinking.
Before her arrival, the patient must be put to bed, preferably even tied to the bed. For symptoms of delirium tremens, drinking plenty of fluids is recommended. Applying ice usually helps to calm the patient. If you have sedatives or sleeping pills at home, they can also be used for pacification. In this state, a person poses a danger to others, so he must be under strict supervision.
Overcoming anxiety can be difficult - some become despondent, others become aggressive, and others are in a stupor. It can be difficult to bring a person out of a negative state and you need to act carefully and sensitively.
Every person in life faces certain difficulties that are not easy to overcome, and therefore his behavior changes dramatically. Some become more aggressive, while others, on the contrary, fall into a stupor. Both need to be reassured and supported so that they do not go through their difficulties alone.
Rules for psychological assistance
To avoid harming a person stressful situation, you need to follow a number of rules:
- Don’t force help, but offer it when you really need it.
- Do not put pressure on the person, trying to find out what happened to him. You need to be careful not to make the situation worse.
Advice should be given in such a way that it does not look like teaching. Moreover, you shouldn’t say “I warned you!” In the end, a person’s life belongs to him alone, and only he can decide what and how to do.
You should not compare the situation that has arisen with others, even if they are very similar. You can’t say that “Vanya had the same thing last month, but he managed it, but you can’t.” This will sound like an attempt to belittle a person for being filled with grief. Every person is different, and everyone perceives problems differently.
The ability to empathize is very important quality, but you shouldn’t resort to it if the person doesn’t need your pity. It is also impossible to pass by indifferently. Maybe your friend needs someone to just be there?
Everyone needs psychological help in a difficult situation, but it should be provided wisely. You should not leave a person alone, but at the same time you should not try to distract him from grief and somehow cheer him up. He may perceive this as a “feast during the plague” and then stop communicating with you due to your insensitivity.
How to help a person in an emergency situation
There are two types of reactions in extreme conditions: emotional stupor (a person sits, staring at one point, and does not react to what is happening) and an emotional storm (a person begins to become hysterical, scream or cry). Help varies depending on these conditions: you need to wait out the hysteria (for example, hug the person tightly, despite his aggression and swearing), but you need to bring him out of the stupor (for example, shake him by the shoulders).
When the person has calmed down, you can start a conversation with him. It is important not to break down or get angry, otherwise the situation may repeat itself. You need to speak to people under stress in a calming tone and constantly seek a response from them. To do this, ask questions “Do you agree?” or “What do you think about this?”
You should start a conversation with an already calmed person by asking him to tell you what happened to him. At the same time, you don’t need to put too much pressure, and if he does start talking, you shouldn’t interrupt or rush the story. After hearing, offer your help, but do not name specific options; let the victim himself find something to do for you.
Try to console the person - hug him, take a walk Fresh air, in general, commit simple steps, capable of completely calming. Remember that sympathy is not tears in three streams, but real support and willingness to help.
How to help someone overcome anxiety
All people tend to experience anxiety before important events - promotions, exams, weddings and other situations. The insidiousness of this feeling is that it does not allow you to concentrate on the task and is often the cause of failure. So, a student cannot remember the proof of a theorem that he studied all night, and an employee will not be able to ask for a promotion, which is very good for him.
Helping you cope with anxiety is not as simple a task as it seems. After all, people tend to consider themselves unique, whom no one understands, and therefore help can be received with hostility. Calming phrases like “Don’t drift, everything will work out!” more often annoying than accepted. Therefore, before you rush to help, ask if your help is needed.
Another situation is when a person considers himself basically unable to cope with the upcoming task, that is, a loser. Then, at the next failure, he will not analyze why this happened, but will begin to blame the circumstances or people who prevented him from achieving success.
Here it is important not to say that the reason for the failure is the “loser” himself, but to try to find out together with him what led to the failure. And when you finally discover the reason, gradually lead the person to realize his mistake. You can give examples from your own life, and then he will see that he is not the only one, and this is the norm of life. Overcoming your inferiority complex is the first step to achieving success.
A man has a grief. A man has lost a loved one. What should I tell him?
Hold on!
The most common words that always come to mind first are:
- Be strong!
- Hold on!
- Take heart!
- My condolences!
- Any help?
- Oh, what a horror... Well, hold on.
What else can I say? There is nothing to console us, we will not return the loss. Hold on, friend! It’s also not clear what to do next - either support this topic (what if the person is even more painful from continuing the conversation), or change it to neutral...
These words are not spoken out of indifference. Only for the person who has lost life has stopped and time has stopped, but for the rest - life goes on, but how could it be otherwise? It’s scary to hear about our grief, but life goes on as usual. But sometimes you want to ask again - what to hold on to? Even faith in God is difficult to hold on to, because along with loss comes the desperate “Lord, Lord, why did you leave me?”
We should be happy!
The second group of valuable advice to the grieving is much worse than all these endless “hold on!”
- “You should be glad that you had such a person and such love in your life!”
- “Do you know how many infertile women would dream of being a mother for at least 5 years!”
- “Yes, he finally got over it! How he suffered here and that’s it – he doesn’t suffer anymore!”
I can't be happy. This will be confirmed by anyone who buried a beloved 90-year-old grandmother, for example. Mother Adriana (Malysheva) passed away at 90. She was on the verge of death more than once, all Last year she was seriously and painfully ill. She asked the Lord more than once to take her away as soon as possible. All her friends didn't see her that often - a couple of times a year. best case scenario. Most had only known her for a couple of years. When she left, despite all this, we were orphaned...
Death is not something to be happy about at all.
Death is the most terrible and evil evil.
And Christ defeated it, but for now we can only believe in this victory, while we, as a rule, do not see it.
By the way, Christ did not call to rejoice in death - he cried when he heard about the death of Lazarus and resurrected the son of the widow of Nain.
And “death is gain,” the Apostle Paul said to himself, and not about others, “for ME life is Christ, and death is gain.”
You are strong!
- How he holds up!
- How strong she is!
- You are strong, you endure everything so courageously...
If a person who has experienced a loss does not cry, does not groan or be killed at a funeral, but is calm and smiles, he is not strong. He is still in the most severe phase of stress. When he starts crying and screaming, it means that the first stage of stress is passing, and he feels a little better.
There is such an accurate description in Sokolov-Mitrich’s report about the relatives of the Kursk crew:
“Several young sailors and three people who looked like relatives were traveling with us. Two women and one man. Only one circumstance cast doubt on their involvement in the tragedy: they were smiling. And when we had to push the broken bus, the women even laughed and rejoiced, like collective farmers in Soviet films returning from the battle for the harvest. “Are you from the committee of soldiers’ mothers?” - I asked. “No, we are relatives.”
That evening I met military psychologists from the St. Petersburg Military Medical Academy. Professor Vyacheslav Shamrey, who worked with the relatives of those killed at Komsomolets, told me that this sincere smile on the face of a grief-stricken person is called “unconscious psychological protection" On the plane on which the relatives flew to Murmansk, there was an uncle who, upon entering the cabin, rejoiced like a child: “Well, at least I’ll fly on the plane. Otherwise I’ve been sitting all my life in my Serpukhov district, I don’t see the white light!” This means that the uncle was very bad.
“We’re going to Sasha Ruzlev... Senior midshipman... 24 years old, second compartment,” after the word “compartment,” the women began to sob. “And this is his father, he lives here, he’s also a submariner, he’s been sailing all his life.” The name of? Vladimir Nikolayevich. Just don’t ask him anything, please.”
Are there those who hold on well and do not plunge into this black and white world of grief? Don't know. But if a person “holds on,” it means that, most likely, he needs and will continue to need spiritual and psychological support for a long time. The worst may be ahead.
Orthodox arguments
- Thank God you now have a guardian angel in heaven!
- Your daughter is now an angel, hurray, she’s in the Kingdom of Heaven!
- Your wife is now closer to you than ever!
I remember a colleague was at the funeral of a friend’s daughter. A non-church colleague was horrified by godmother of a little girl burned out from leukemia: “Imagine, she said in such a plastic, hard voice - rejoice, your Masha is now an angel! What a beautiful day! She is with God in the Kingdom of Heaven! This is your best day!”
The thing here is that we, believers, really see that it is not “when” that matters, but “how”. We believe (and this is the only way we live) that sinless children and well-living adults will not lose mercy from the Lord. That it is scary to die without God, but with God nothing is scary. But this is our, in a sense, theoretical knowledge. A person experiencing a loss can himself tell a lot of things that are theologically correct and comforting, if necessary. “Closer than ever” – you don’t feel it, especially at first. Therefore, here I would like to say, “Can everything be as usual, please?”
In the months that have passed since my husband’s death, by the way, I have not heard these “Orthodox consolations” from a single priest. On the contrary, all the fathers told me how difficult it was, how difficult it was. How they thought they knew something about death, but it turned out that they knew little. That the world has become black and white. What sorrow. I didn’t hear a single “finally your personal angel has appeared.”
Only a person who has gone through grief can probably say about this. I was told how Mother Natalia Nikolaevna Sokolova, who buried two of her most beautiful sons within a year - Archpriest Theodore and Bishop Sergius, said: “I gave birth to children for the Kingdom of Heaven. There are two already there.” But only she herself could say that.
Time cures?
Probably, over time, this wound with meat throughout the soul will heal a little. I don't know that yet. But in the first days after the tragedy, everyone is nearby, everyone is trying to help and sympathize. But then - everyone goes on with their own lives - how could it be otherwise? And somehow it seems that the most acute period of grief has already passed. No. The first weeks are not the most difficult. As I was told a wise man Having experienced a loss, after forty days you only little by little understand what place the departed person occupied in your life and soul. After a month, it stops seeming like you’ll wake up and everything will be as before. That this is just a business trip. You realize that you won’t come back here, that you won’t be here anymore.
It is at this time that you need support, presence, attention, work. And just someone who will listen to you.
There is no way to console. You can console a person, but only if you return his loss and resurrect the deceased. And the Lord can still comfort you.
What can I say?
In fact, it is not so important what you say to a person. What matters is whether you have experience of suffering or not.
Here's the thing. There are two psychological concepts: sympathy and empathy.
Sympathy- We sympathize with the person, but we ourselves have never been in such a situation. And we, in fact, cannot say “I understand you” here. Because we don't understand. We understand that it is bad and scary, but we do not know the depth of this hell in which a person is now. And not every experience of loss is suitable here. If we buried our beloved 95-year-old uncle, this does not give us the right to say to the mother who buried her son: “I understand you.” If we do not have such experience, then your words will most likely not have any meaning for a person. Even if he listens to you out of politeness, the thought will be in the background: “But everything is fine with you, why do you say that you understand me?”
And here empathy- this is when you have compassion for a person and KNOW what he is going through. A mother who has buried a child experiences empathy and compassion, supported by experience, for another mother who has buried a child. Here every word can be at least somehow perceived and heard. And most importantly, here is a living person who also experienced this. Who feels bad, just like me.
Therefore, it is very important to arrange for a person to meet with those who can show empathy towards him. Not an intentional meeting: “But Aunt Masha, she also lost a child!” Unobtrusively. Carefully tell them that you can go to such and such a person or that such a person is ready to come and talk. There are many forums online to support people experiencing loss. On the RuNet there is less, on the English-language Internet there is more - those who have experienced or are experiencing gather there. Being close to them will not ease the pain of loss, but it will support them.
Help from a good priest who has experience of loss or simply a lot of life experience. You will most likely also need the help of a psychologist.
Pray a lot for the deceased and for loved ones. Pray yourself and serve magpies in churches. You can also invite the person himself to travel to churches together to serve magpies around him and pray around him and read the psalter.
If you knew the deceased, remember him together. Remember what you said, what you did, where you went, what you discussed... Actually, that’s what wakes are for—to remember a person, to talk about him. “Do you remember, one day we met at a bus stop, and you had just returned from your honeymoon”….
Listen a lot, calmly and for a long time. Not comforting. Without encouraging, without asking to rejoice. He will cry, he will blame himself, he will retell the same little things a million times. Listen. Just help with the housework, with the children, with chores. Speak in household topics. Be near.
P.P.S. If you have experience of how grief and loss are experienced, we will add your advice, stories and help others at least a little.