1. Coffin-shaped air mattress for those with summer depression
2. Slippers in the shape of fish 
3. Swimsuit for those who want to show their inner world 
4. Baby bottle for those parents who want to shock others 
5. Just plush tardigrades 
6. Bacon mustache wax 
7. And also panties with the same smell 
8. Squirrel feeder in the shape of a horse's head 
9. Socks with Donald Trump, who can even style his hair 
10. Chicken lamp, which animal rights activists will definitely not like 
11. Samurai armor for cats 
12. Sweaters for quadcopters. Well, they might be cold too 
13. Things from McDonald's. I"m loving it 
14. Jewelry for those who love to eat 
15. Shoes that are perfect for you 
Designer Satsuki Ohata from Japan invented a special liquid material in which you need to dip your feet like a fondue and get super comfortable slippers
16. For those who like to spend time usefully in the toilet 
17. If you like the look of stuffed animals but don't want to harm them 
18. Pigeon shoes 
19. Umbrella tie for those who are ready for anything 
20. A teapot for those who have a lot of guests 
21. A cap for those who don’t have hair, but really want to 
The old saying “The customer is always right!” Surely each of you remembers. This saying is often used by customers, who sometimes make very funny and unusual demands on designers.
We present to your attention a selection of real dialogues between designers and their clients with a rich imagination.
[Indian customer]
Hello. Are you designing a website? 100 rub.
- Hello. It's a joke?
- No, are you serious? 100 rubles will do, and you’ll be busy for the evening. By the way, I can get dressed in India for 100 rubles.
[Real sausage]
We haven't decided on a name yet. Here are approximate names: Online sausages, Das-sausages, Sausage run, Sausage in tights, Real sausages.
These are our slogans. They haven't chosen it yet either.
“If you are hungry and have an empty stomach, our delicious sausage will save you from hunger.”
“You cannot live without risk, sausage will invigorate your blood.”
[Space as a premonition]
The idea is that even alien creatures from other planets use our technology! Make a galaxy, a starry sky, aliens who drag our technology to their planet using a spaceship, which can be made in the shape of a dragon, since next year is the year of the dragon! In the first half there is an unfinished space base of aliens and a landing of our equipment from the Dragon spaceship. On the second there is a brand new, luxurious base equipped and a departing starship. Comic strip from several frames. Aliens cannot build a base. Call for help. A starship arrives and unloads equipment. Technology builds everything. The base is ready. The technique is loaded back into the Dragon. The dragon flies away. The aliens see off the spaceship with tears in their eyes (green).
[Pregnant letter]
We need to make a logo for a website for products for children and expectant mothers. The name of the site begins with the letter B. “Make it as if B is a pregnant woman, the lower semicircle of this letter is a rounded belly, and the upper semicircle is the breast to which she has attached the baby and is feeding. The female letter should look happy, not exhausted, perhaps smiling.”
[I'm a chef]
Heading for the site. Title text "I am a cook." Since it is intended to be masculine, the title must match.
An approximate vision - the letter I is unshaven, in a chef's hat on one side, the hyphen is in the form of a segment of cervelat/salami, the rest of the letters are from imagination, the letter P is in one sock.
[X-Files]
The painful approval process is over:
Client: Everything is great! I like everything, what about you?
Designer: Me too, just don’t tell anyone that I did this.
[Unusual logo]
Hello, I need an unusual logo! Are you happy?
- I don’t know yet, tell me...
- I need a logo written with a mathematical formula so that I can enter it anywhere - and it will appear on its own!
[Other resolution]
The client wishes to order a 6x3 meter banner. Sends a picture by mail. GIF 3x3 cm and an official application, like...
“Please make...”, etc. Signature “Deputy Director Ivanov I.I.”
I write to him:
- I can't print this picture. Need another permission.
An hour later I receive an angry letter:
“I authorize the printing of the poster! General manager Bubin A.A.”
[Out of politics]
Please make 2 gift T-shirts for our directors, the concept is very simple: a hypnotoad is drawn on the T-shirt, in whose features WITH EASE!!! Putin's features are visible. Thank you!
[Face disfigured by intellect]
HUGE REQUEST: please make all the information on teachers in a collapsed form. It looks very scary when you immediately see the face of the first teacher on the list.
[Burring Woodpecker]
I heard that you do custom album covers?
This is the picture.
The background itself: Cartoon animation. Forest.
Foreground: A large oak tree stands on the severed heads of African Americans.
There, Woody Woodpecker, a woodpecker, is running around an oak tree with an ax, only his hair is not red, but red, and his belly is not blue, but black, and he is wearing a racist white cap. Runs after Freddy Krueger, the dude from Scream and the vampire.
It's all on the cinema screen.
And also in the foreground: there are people sitting there in 3D glasses and four stand out among them: one is setting fire to a drug pipe and has drumsticks behind his back, so bald in sweatpants, the second, with a bass, is smoking an arsonist’s pipe, and the third is standing serious with a guitar This one doesn’t do anything, and the fourth one with a microphone in his hand fell to his knees and starts laughing wildly, and a little smoke comes out of his mouth.
Group name: Burry Woodpecker
Album title: Until the smoke runs out.
One line
Dear designers, we really need a website prototype in the warm light of our souls.
Slogan: Hemp is not only fun, but also very useful!
I really liked your idea with the black man. Can I remove the black man?
Please make us ultramarine orange.
I don’t like that the word Moscow is shorter than Rostov-on-Don.
Font - if possible, please use Old Russian - Comic Sans.
Advantages of the company: “You get a tight stream of clients into your business.”
Play with the square shape.
Could you play around with this icon?
Are you from a distinguished family of designers or zero?
What a beautiful site! Is it possible not to make others more beautiful?
Make the font 1 kg larger.
Vadim, sorry for the delay in payment, I’m on a binge, I’ll really be out by Monday. I confirm the order. Sorry again.
And make the picture square. Six by nine centimeters.
The logo represents a scuba diver racing on a bicycle.
Break an egg for the designer and let him see what kind of yellow we want.
Let's print a limited number of business cards for limited people- me and the director.
Make the layout as bright and rich as possible, so that it catches the eye, like bird poop on a wedding dress!
We can’t write the terms of reference - maybe you yourself?
A landscape designer built a tall alpine hill. Together with the customer they climbed up and after catching their breath, the designer says:
- Look at what beautiful view Below us, what flower beds and paths!
- Why did we build this mountain if there is such beauty below?
A DESIGNER is not as scary as his PORTFOLIO
A landscape designer comes to the garden, gathers the gardeners and says:
- I don’t know why the previous boss was kicked out, but now my order will be like this:
- Monday - we rest after the weekend, Tuesday - we prepare for the working day, Wednesday - we work, Thursday - we rest after the working day, Friday - we prepare for the weekend, the weekend - we actually rest;
Here the gardener, already aged, rises:
- So, you want to say that we will work hard all Wednesday?
First rule landscape design: plant green up
Landscape designer says to gardener:
- Why is there so much garbage in the garden? Dig a hole and bury the trash immediately!
- Where should I put the land?
- Dig a hole deeper so that both the garbage and the earth fit!
Dear gardener! The seeds you gave me last time have sprouted!
- Well, what can I say? Happens!
Hello! Is there a Green Congress taking place here?
- Don’t you see - there’s a rally of gays here.
- Sorry, I'm colorblind.
A landscape designer is a person who, having invited a girl to his home in order to show her exotic plants, shows her exotic plants.
An Englishman arrived in Moscow and saw that two people were working on the street. One digs holes, and the other buries them. The Englishman asks:
- Why does the first one dig holes, and the second one bury them?
They answer him:
- The first one digs holes, but the third one buries them not the second one. The second one was supposed to plant bushes, but didn’t show up for work today.
A woman calls a landscape company and asks to make her a garden. Manager in a cheerful voice:
- Hello! We will come to your site, bring catalogs, offer several sketches, and then carry out all the work on a turnkey basis. How will you pay: cash or by invoice?
- But I don’t have money...
The manager immediately turned sour:
- Then, goodbye!
-...my husband has the money.
- Hello again!
Brigade landscape designers and landscapers looking for work. Do not offer sex.
A giraffe is a horse... made according to all customer requirements!
The customer, giving the money: “I hope that if you need to transport it later, you can contact me? It’s not like they did it once and forgot?”
Landscape designer: “Of course, depending on what needs to be fixed and how.
Z: - Well, of course! I won't say, "Let's redo everything."
LD: - No question. By the way, one more point. Can I then, if I suddenly run out of money or have new plans, can I contact you about paying a little extra? This is a small thing, I need it very rarely, I think it won’t bother you.
LD: Don't worry! I won’t come to you, they say, pay me again!